Chocolate Quotes

Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate…

If there is no chocolate in heaven, I’m not going.

Jo Brand Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate

Charles M. Schulz All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt

Matt Lauer Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are

George Carlin You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar

Judith Viorst .Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands-and then eat just one of the pieces

Mariska Hargitay Chocolate is the first luxury. It has so many things wrapped up in it: Deliciousness in the moment, childhood memories, and that grin-inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good

Tom Hanks Life is like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re gonna get

John Q. Tullius Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies

Michael Levine Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world’s perfect food.

Sandra J. Dykes Forget love I’d rather fall in chocolate!

Andy Milonakis Your face makes my soul want to eat chocolate pudding!

Jim Carrey You know, I live a monastic lifestyle. No, I do. I do live in extremes, basically. I go back and forth. Once every six months, I’ll have a day where I eat more chocolate than has ever been consumed by a human being

Geena Davis Somebody warned me early on to be very careful about brushing up against the chocolate

Alan Coren Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by

Manda Peet If I had to give up cheese or chocolate, I’d give up chocolate in a heartbeat

Eva Herzigova I’m lucky, I don’t like sweets, not even chocolate.

Carrie Underwood I’m fighting a losing battle here: I’m trying to lose some weight. I love chocolate; that’s one of my biggest downfalls. I haven’t gotten a whole lot of chocolate, thank goodness, because I’d probably be about 300 pounds

Dawn French I never do any television without chocolate. That’s my motto and I live by it. Quite often I write the scripts and I make sure there are chocolate scenes. Actually I’m a bit of a chocolate tart and will eat anything. It’s amazing I’m so slim

Mel Gibson After about 20 years of marriage, I’m finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate

George Bernard Shaw What use are cartridges in battle? I always carry chocolate instead

Jean Kelsey When plan A fails move to plan B; eat chocolate

Dave Barry My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already

Oleg Kiselev Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of women’s pants

Sandra Boynton Carob works on the principle that, when mixed with the right combination of fats and sugar, it can duplicate chocolate in color and texture. Of course, the same can be said of dirt

Alicia Silverstone My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates which is, for sure, better than sex

Kim Williams Page one is a diet, page two is a chocolate cake. It’s a no-win situation

Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time

Life’s a box of chocolates…Eat ’em all!

Sarah Jessica Parker I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies. Two seemingly different ideas that might just be perfect together like chocolate and peanut butter

There is good sex and there is bad sex but chocolate is always chocolate

Sandra Boynton As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate

Jack Handy I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he is so busy, you’d probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him

Jean Kelsey When you select the right kind of chocolate it is like giving your insides a hug. Everyone needs a chocolate hug

Julie Sutton Your friendship is better than chocolate! Well, anyway, it’s right up there

Katherine Hepburn What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate

Sandra Boynton Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate

Leslie Moak Murray There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love chocolate, and communists

Fernando Pessoa Look, there’s no metaphysics on earth like chocolates

Lora Brody Don’t wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty

There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles

I don’t drown my sorrows; I suffocate them with chocolate

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly

Edward (Grandpa) Jones Chocolate is like medicine but as with medicine, the key is the proper dose. Don’t overdo it

James Wadworth Twill make old women young and fresh, Create new motions of the flesh. And cause them long for you know what, If they but taste of chocolate

Jason Love Fruit only angers my need for chocolate

Emily Luchetti After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers

In the USA


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Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is

Linda Grayson There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate

Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but woman sure can

Jessi Lane Adams Fudge is a noun, a verb, an interjection, and delicious!

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated

Save the earth. It’s the only planet with chocolate

Terry Moore The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!

Money may talk, but chocolate sings

God gave the angels wings, and he gave humans chocolate

Jason Love Chocolate is an antidepressant, which is especially useful as you start to gain weight.

Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed. Chocolate makes it worthwhile.

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